Got home today an' started looking thru all the works of prose I've compiled thru 4 yrs. of honors English.
"Why?" you ask. Because I can.
The following is something I wrote my junior year of high school RE: life.
Apparently, I was a really deep person back than.
Simple or Complicated?
Helping my friend manage his singing group in Poway, memorizing lines for an upcoming play, writing a couple of new songs, collecting on bets, co-writing a new script with one of my other friends, stressing over the SAT, and pondering what my major should be in college-- Just a few of the thoughts running through my head at the moment. One of the only moments in my life I get to relax and I spend it worrying about my stresses in the world. It is a very sad fact that I have to concentrate to relax, which leads me to wish that my life were simpler.
My childhood is an element of my life that I have taken for granted the past few years of my life. My last little remnant of childhood can be found in the old tradition of just staring at the clouds. Staring out the window of my room during a bright, sunny day in San Marcos, I set my mind off on its own course and let it change the sea of clouds above me into a limitless amount of images.
Fun and laughter are two things that always go together, in my own life, these two elements of childhood are scarce. Down the street from me are a couple of the neighborhood's children playing hide-and-go seek. These kids have no idea how much they take their simple lives for granted. Their meals are pre-packed or made by their parent(s), they live a sheltered life, things that they want are given and they have no comprehension at how that is possible.
What happened to me?! So many responsibilities have been thrust upon me, I am completely baffled as to where some of them come from. There are so many dreams and ambitions that I wish for and I would easily throw them away to relive my childhood. Being a newborn again would be great. The only thing I would have trouble figuring out would be trying to distinguish my cries for various things. As a rule, we are not allowed to do that.
I sit back down and stare at the clouds again. Immediately the clouds turn into images relevant to my life. The microphone represents my interest in singing, the diploma represents my worries about college, the camera represents my obligations as an actor, and the cheeseburger tells me that I didn't eat lunch yet. I envy the kids down the street from me. when I was their age, I would imagine epic battles between clashing armies, really big dragons soaring over the skies, and Snoopy flying overhead with his dog house as the Red Baron.
When I was their age I knew exactly what I wanted to be. I am assuming the kids down the street already have their future planned out. The kid with the brown hair wants to be a professional basketball player. The blonde haired girl wants to be a doctor. The dog doesn't want to be neutered at the vet today. As soon as these kids figure out why they are forced to go to school life starts to get complicated for them.
Simplicity. Simplicity. Simplicity. A plain and simple world where everything is planned out. A world where nothing is erratic, there are no unexpected events, everything falls into place, and can best be described as a true conformity. The computer-animated movie "Ants" is a good example of what a simple, planned life would be like. In the movie, their entire day is planned out for them. They would all wake up at a certain time, work to a certain time, eat at certain times, and square dance at certain times.
Living the past few years of my life has made me realize, I HATE simplicity. Life is every negative adjective in my brain without unexpected events. Many times over the course of my past three years, I have been advised, asked, and even told to slow down. It is just not possible with me. The transition between work and relaxation is too uneasy for me. If nothing is happening in my immediate life, things turn out to be boring and I tend to get lazy. Some elements of chaos must exist in everyday life or life just becomes mindane. In improv, the most entertaining part of the scenes is that the performers have no idea where they are going. During improvs you are "by the seat of your pants", so to speak.
In my own personal view, life would have no forms of art in a simplistic life. In a simplistic life world, I would be left as an empty human shell. All my past experiences and the present activities I do right now would be eliminated in a simple world, As a songwriter/playwright, my own personal experiences that I draw upon account for most of the creative process; The other section is brought together by my present surroundings.
Through a slightly complicated life, I have been able to do so many things:acting, bungee jumping, driving, paintballing, skiing, rock climbing, and relationships. These experiences would never exist in a simplistic world.
Life should never be an even blend, much like the sea of clouds above me. No clouds can be interpreted as a simple, boring life where there is no possibility of having fun. The dark gray storm clouds are representative of a chaotic, disorganized life where nothing is posible to achieve because one finds themselves engrossed in prtoecting themselves. No, life should be just like the clouds above me. Bright, fluffy, warm clouds that promise no chances of rain and allow me to think out things.
